Are you living your life or is your past living through you?  Are you reacting to triggers from the past without realizing it?  Or perhaps you are striving to make your life better, reacting to or resisting it rather than creating anything new?

I am reminded of a woman patient who gave a story of growing up in a family where the mother was abused emotionally by her husband and was not emotionally available to her children.  Her daughter, my patient, eventually developed anger towards her mother because she wouldn’t leave her husband to protect herself and her children.

Today my patient is herself in an abusive relationship in which her husband does not support her, protect her against abuse from members of his family, and in turn is abusive and disrespectful to her.   My patient does speak up for herself but it doesn’t make any real change in the relationship.   She stays in the marriage for financial reasons.

In essence, my patient’s life really hasn’t changed from that of her mother.  It is as though my patient has yet to find the answer to the question: ‘How do I create a marriage that is built on mutual respect and care for one another?’

This is one example of a recurring pattern running from one generation to the next.

We all absorb the unresolved emotional conflicts of our parents during the most vital and sensitive period of our creation – from conception, pregnancy and first year of life.  Like a template, we will keep repeating our parents’ pattern until we become conscious of it.  We can then be released from its hidden effect on our lives and start to live what we choose and create for ourselves.

Take note that there is no blame attached to our parents or grandparents.  They were managing their lives as best as they could given their own hidden programs passed on from their parents and grandparents.  And there is no victim either.

My patient was doing the best she could given what she knew of herself.  She was unaware of what she really felt about herself at a deep level – ‘I don’t deserve better.  There must be something bad about me for my husband to treat me this way.  I am not lovable.’  It is the very same self-depreciating thoughts that her mother most certainly held about herself.

However, with awareness of the hidden pattern – with the right information – her perspective totally shifted and a whole other way of seeing herself and taking action about her marriage became possible.

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Important – Although I am a physician, the views expressed in this article are not representative of mainstream Western Medicine.   If you have diagnosis of disease, be sure to also seek medical advice and care.

Want to use this article in your ezine or website? You can, as long as you include this complete acknowledgment with it -  Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to tap into their own healing potential.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.

I am continuing to read and have conversations with people that confirm for me the vital and central role of emotional health for our happiness and our physical well being.

Not long ago I met the banquet manager of a hotel at a medical conference I attended.  The man, I would say, was in his mid to late 50s.  When I mentioned I was a family physician, he said that he had never seen a doctor (except once for a mandatory immigration physical), nor had he ever taken so much as an Advil or Tylenol his whole life.

I asked him to what he attributed his good health and he said the following:
“ I eat a healthy diet with lots of vegetables and fruit and I choose a variety of them.  I don’t dwell on negative thoughts.  I simply don’t hang on to them. For example, if my neighbour has a bigger house or a fancier car than I have, I don’t envy him for what he has.  I am grateful for what I have.  I am content.” [Read more...]

I am continuing to read and have conversations with people that confirm for me the vital and central role of emotional health for our happiness and our physical well being. What is very clear to me is the need to accept all our feelings – from fear, sadness, anger and hurt to love, peace and joy.

We are not meant to feel only happiness and joy. We are to feel the full range of emotions for every emotion arises as a living, energetic response to our moment by moment experience. Every feeling is a natural part of our life and has a message to give us.

I have said many times that there are no negative emotions. The problem arises when we avoid, deny or repress an emotion. Then the emotion gets stuck and creates a block. The more we avoid or repress an emotion, the more we shut down feeling any emotion – be it sadness or joy. We create layers of defense to feeling and become less alive. [Read more...]

We are on the threshold of spring already and the wonderful bright energy it brings. I hope you are feeling it as I am.

In the last month I have been very active with networking, speaking and preparing talks. I love sharing the powerful message of self-healing through developing self-awareness of the mental and emotional obstacles to well-being.

My presentation at the Vancouver Wellness Show last month on the topic ‘Joy for the Health of It’ was a great experience for all concerned. I have prepared a short video clip that you can view by clicking this YouTube link.

Earlier this month I was invited to speak for the Soroptomist International Ridge Meadows chapter on ‘What Women Need to Know about Breast Cancer – prevention and early diagnosis’. However the event was cancelled. In any case, I now have another powerpoint presentation ready to go for another occasion.

I am looking for opportunities to speak. If you have a group that you think would be interested to hear about emotional well-being, cancer, disease or self-healing, I would be very pleased to hear from you.

It hasn’t been ‘all work and no play’. I did some planning ahead to capture a couple of fabulous days of skiing at Cypress in sunshine after a fresh snowfall. Yes, I know we have had a lot of rain on the west coast and some cold days too. However, it is sure to warm up soon.

View from Cypress Mountain

Wishing you some relaxing and happy times over spring break and the Easter holiday.

Joy and health to you,

Nelie

In this newsletter I want to carry on the theme of last month – more joy and happiness contribute to greater health – and tackle some of the key factors that block us from experiencing happiness and joy.

The problem is not that we can’t be happy but rather that we get caught up in the myriad of obstacles to happiness.

For example, ask yourself what are your first thoughts when you wake up in the morning?  ‘Oh gosh!  Another day of work.  I don’t want to get up to fact the day’ kinds of thoughts or  ‘I can’t wait to get into my day and have fun’?

What keeps us from happiness and its natural health benefits are our own miserable thinking –  the set of old thoughts on auto-pilot of which we are barely aware.  The rusty ruts of our thinking then determine our attitudes, beliefs, feelings and our reactions.  If we think we are in for a ‘bad day’, most surely we will experience our day as one.

These auto-pilot thoughts and behaviours can result in holding onto emotions such as anger, resentment, hurt, guilt and jealousy and creating an internal environment of stress, misery and fatigue.  Such an environment negatively affects our relationships, our work lives, our energy, vitality and overall health.  It is the substrate for ‘dis-ease’ and disease.

The first step is to identify what thoughts and beliefs are getting in the way of our experience of joy and happiness.

“I’ll be happy … when I am retired.  … when I don’t have to worry about money.  ….  when I have my health back.”

Making our happiness conditional on outer circumstances is a sure way to put off our joy.  It’s not circumstances that have to be right but rather our attitude, to bring more joy and happiness into our lives.

“Life is tough.  Life is work.  Life is unsafe.”

Who is saying this?  Whose truth are we buying into?  We need to identify and challenge our  beliefs.

“If only I didn’t have a bad boss …  If only my husband/my wife treated me right … If only I had a happier childhood …”

Poor me, victim thoughts are dis-empowering and will keep us from making choices for positive change in our lives.

Judgmental, critical and unloving thoughts of self and others -  are a major drain on our ability to feel happy.   Self-love and self-esteem are the areas to explore.

“I have too much to do.  I never get enough done as it is.  I have no time to goof off and play.”

Overwhelm

Review expectations and priorities and make adjustments.  Schedule in playtime.  Virtually every personal growth and coaching work I have done emphasize the necessity to block in playtime to restore one’s creativity and freshness for working more effectively, efficiently and with inspiration.

In addition to the strategies given above, identify the feelings and emotions that come with the troublesome thought or thought pattern.  We can then ask ourselves the following –

• If I didn’t have this thought how would I feel?
• How do I really want to feel in this situation?  What do I want to experience?
• What thought or thoughts would support me to feel that way?
• What perspective on this situation would make my life easier and make me feel happier?

Stay tuned for further tips on helping you create your happiest and healthiest life in 2012.

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Want to use this article in your ezine or website? You can, as long as you include this complete acknowledgment with it -  Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to tap into their own healing potential.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.

We have had the first snow of the year on the West coast in the last couple of days and it has transformed the ‘world’ into a wonderland!

I hope you are enjoying a great start to the New Year.  I certainly am.   I have renewed my commitment and enthusiasm to my healing practice and am looking forward to doing more of the work I love – helping people reduce the fear, distress and uncertainty of disease and illness and showing them ways they can contribute to their own health and joy with tools and processes for self-healing.

I have already put in a solid week of developing a specific program to guide people on their healing path and I am excited to share it.

Also I have two major speaking engagements for the first quarter of this year.  The first is for the Vancouver Wellness Show, Saturday, February 18^th as the invited speaker for HANS – Health Action Network Society.   Watch for details in the February newsletter as well as notice of the next introductory teleclass and/or seminar.

Also I have renewed my commitment to my own self-care – healthy food choices, staying active, maintaining a balance of creativity, work and play.  I have found that everything in my life goes easier and I am more inspired in everything I do when I have a good dose of fun in my life.  I plan a day of skiing this week to enjoy the fresh snowfall we have had.

                     Winter in Whistler

Wishing you the best of health and happiness,

Nelie

You may have heard that you remember absolutely everything that ever happened to you, whether or not you are conscious of this.  Actually your everyday working memory is but a fraction of all the memory of your whole existence.  How can that be you might ask?

Very simply the full memory of all that has ever happened to you is held by your subconscious mind and by your physical body.  Any given physical disease represents the containment of a select band of memory -  past hurts, experiences, associated beliefs and feelings on a specific life theme.

Here are two real life examples of this.

1)     ‘Agnes’ – a woman in her 60s with very painful, deformed arthritic hands -  She despaired of being able to play the piano or paint in her retirement.  She was even unable to hold her husband’s hand when they walked together.

When guided into her emotional story, she reviewed a very stressful time in her life when she had to move her parents out of the home they loved into a care facility.  Agnes felt so sad for her parents for she knew how much it distressed them to leave their home.  She uncovered a visual memory of sweeping the driveway of leaves in preparation for the sale of her parents’ home and feeling sad and guilty for her part in moving her parents.

At the same time she became aware of thinking how much her father would have loved to be doing the raking and taking care of the garden.  All the stress of this period –  the sadness and guilt she felt – became focused on the work she was doing with her hands.

With accessing this memory, expressing and releasing the associated buried thoughts and feelings, Agnes went on to heal the arthritis in her hands.

2)     ‘Mary’  -  a woman in her 50s who was suffering more than 10 years of pain, poor sleep, lack of energy and low mood of fibromyalgia.  She struggled to run a home-based business, keep house, and look after her family.

The fibromyalgia began following a shocking revelation in her family and a period of  stress and discord.  As one of the eldest, she suddenly found herself no longer held in high regard by her other siblings for the position she took in the matter.   She felt ostracized, very hurt and powerless.

However, the really deep pain of her  ‘fall from grace’ was being held in her subconscious as a memory too painful to experience consciously.  Until she explored and got the impact of this ‘fall from grace’, she was not able to regain her health.   Bringing awareness to this memory and a related pattern that she had not resolved from childhood, in just a few months she made a full recovery from years of misery.

In  the above examples each woman experienced a surge of  peak stress in  her life. As in these two examples, in every case of disease the brain responds instantaneously in the following ways:

i)    absorbs the intense shock of the experience into the subconscious and stores the memory there out of the person’s full awareness.  Thus the person is protected from taking on the full impact of the trauma.
Should one live the full impact consciously, one is at risk of being overwhelmed and unable to eat, sleep and pay attention to his/her surroundings.  In that state the individual would not survive beyond 3 or 4 weeks.   His or her life is threatened.  The primary function of the brain is to ensure survival so some action must be taken.

ii)    manages the intense level of stress by altering the operation of a small area or focus of brain cells to run a disease or illness pattern in the body– such as migraine, fibromyalgia, MS, diabetes, cancer, infections.  The severity of the disease is proportional to the degree of intensity of the stress energy.

As a result of the above actions of the brain, only a very small fraction of the brain and body are concerned with containing the stress energy.  The rest of the brain and body is free to function normally to ensure the survival of the individual for as long as possible and to give time for alternative solutions to clear the stress energy to be found.

Disease is the ultimate survival strategy of the brain.  It alerts the person that some aspect of  his/her life, that is not part of their conscious memory, needs attention.  Until the person is able to resolve the stress or conflict involved, disease contains the stress energy and  supports survival.

Disease represents a band of memory for which the individual is blank – has no conscious awareness.   Just as there are dark bands in the picture above, there are bands of unconsciousness in a person’s psyche.

Whenever you have a disease, illness, or an upset, begin to be curious about what was going on in your life before.  What were you most distressed about?  What were your thoughts and feelings?  What were you believing?    This process of mind-body awareness can lead to release of the original stress and healing.

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Important – Although I am a physician, the views expressed in this article are not representative of mainstream Western Medicine.   If you have diagnosis of disease, be sure to also seek medical advice and care.

Want to use this article in your ezine or website? You can, as long as you include this complete acknowledgment with it-  Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to tap into their own healing potential.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.