Healing Yourself, Healing Family

I recently had the opportunity to hear a story from a woman, I call her ‘Diane’, who healed herself and as she did so, it helped many members in her family to heal also.

Three Generations

Diane described to me that she had a ‘rough upbringing’.  Her alcoholic Dad died when she was just 4 years old.  Her mother went to work to raise her daughter and two older children.  In addition, Mother, I’ll call her Susan, was manic-depressive whose several boyfriends over the years emotionally and sexually abused Diane.

Diane grew up feeling traumatized, really alone and abandoned not only because her Mom was away at work and not protecting her but also because her two brothers who were several years older didn’t want her tagging along with them.  In her teen years she was acting out – hanging out with a wild crowd, drinking and taking drugs.  She felt not worth taking care of.

She married young and attempted to marry someone better than herself.  The marriage didn’t last long, a little more than 2 years.  However, now she had a child to care for.  Although she stopped using drugs and excessive alcohol since age of 17, she struggled with depression.   Her overall sense of herself all her life was that she was ‘damaged goods’.

After her second child in a second marriage (and she is still married to the child’s father), Diane became severely depressed and suicidal.  She was poised to jump off a ladder with a noose around her neck, ready to hang herself but her dog stopped her.  He put his paws on her feet. In that moment, Diane knew she was being asked to choose life and with the help of counselling she chose to live and to committed to a spiritual journey to reconnect with her true self and with a sense of belonging in the world.

Over the next several years she took personal development courses and spiritual workshops.  She uncovered a core belief that she was not lovable  and as she let go of that belief, she grew in self-love and self-esteem to find solid foundation of peace within herself.

An even bigger shift came when she connected with her deep feelings of abandonment and realized that it was primarily her mother’s issue.  Susan, her mother, had lost both her parents at a young age and married in her teens, lost her husband to alcohol in her 20s and had a number of failed relationships.

What was astounding for Diane was that during the days she was releasing her feelings of abandonment, Susan reported to her later that during the same period she was confined to her bed for three days with a severe bouts of vomiting and diarrhea and felt surprisingly well and much lighter afterwards.  Also at the same time, what was remarkable and most touching for Diane was her mother expressed to her for the very first time – “ I am sorry that I didn’t love you as a child.”

Susan, now in her mid 70s, is seeing a counsellor and is starting to heal.  Also Diane’s daughter who has struggled with low self-esteem and depression, like her mother and grandmother before her, is taking steps for her own healing.

With great insight, Diane expressed to me the following -  “ Mom just didn’t have the strength to heal.  I was the one that had to go first.  As I did my healing, I freed up my Mom and my daughter to do their own healing. I am grateful to finally break the chain of this behaviour in my family. ”

I thanked Diane for sharing her courageous story with me and allowing me to share it with others.   In my work with people, I have witnessed similar breakthroughs and the ripple effect of benefit it has for those around them.


Want to use this article in your ezine or website? You can, as long as you include this complete acknowledgment with it -  Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to heal their life and heal their body.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.