My Mother’s Wisdom

I phoned my mother one morning last week to thank her for being present at my 65th birthday dinner.  My mother was a very independent and energetic woman into her late 80’s early 90’s.   She is now 95 years old.

However, in the last two years her memory had been slipping and she had become no longer able to safely care for herself in her own home.  She has been a residential care facility for over a year where the staff make her feel part of a family.

In recent months, she has been more likely to become upset, erratic in her reactions, and confused when stressed.  So along with my two brothers and the care home staff we have agreed that Mom be always accompanied when she goes out for a walk using her walker.  It has been difficult for her to accept this restriction to her freedom and independence.

Her most coherent times are in the morning – a good time to make a phone call.  Let me share some of our conversation from that call last week (with my mother’s blessing).

“ I feel so blessed.  I am so happy that we could be all together at your birthday.  It was special.  I think of you children a lot and I feel so blessed. ”  Then she went on to say:

“ I am much more positive in my thinking.  Strange that it is so. ”

When I asked her what she was thinking, her reply was:  “ I don’t know.  It can’t be said but you can feel it. ”  I responded saying how wise her comment was.  Feeling truly is the key.

Being confined indoors, she sits in her room a lot and she shared with me how fortunate she feels to have a room with a view.  She looks out over trees.  Her next comment was:  “ Looking out on the trees gives me such a good feeling.  I am almost in the woods here. ”  I was quite moved and astonished at this shift in her perspective because for the previous months Mom has done nothing but complain about not being free to go out for her little walks outside on her own.

She went on to say how much she admired me for the work I am doing and that I was a strong woman.  My reply to her was how much she gave me strength with her wisdom and her love.  I told her I loved her so much.  She told me that her love was “ so much bigger than words could say.  Can’t say what it is but I can feel it. ”

As we said our goodbyes she said to me “ Make it a lovely day. ”  Truly it is my choice to make it so.  I felt so blessed to receive this wisdom from my mother who at her advanced age is continuing to grow in love and grace, and appreciation for all her blessings.

This conversation with my mother was reminder that how I want to feel is my choice.  In order to make that choice at times I have to make sure my thoughts and beliefs support how I want to feel.

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Want to use this article in your ezine or website? You can, as long as you include this complete acknowledgment with it -  Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to heal their life and heal their body.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.